Jerky

But Lot's wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt.
-- Genesis 19:26

Thus spake the Lord:
"Disobey me not!
Lest I cure the earth
like jerky
with your body."

Seriously, though:
There are big salt-shakers somewhere,
which were once a woman.

That is horrifying.

So many people
want to cure what ails us,
But apparently
God is just going use us for seasoning
before he swallows the earth whole.